FF: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5058174/1/Son_of_a_Preacher_Man
Twi: http://twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=6393
Date: Thursday, February 11 (10EST/7PST)
Summary: Jasper Hale is the son of a popular televangelist in Phoenix, but he couldn’t be further from a church-going goody two shoes. He drinks, smokes, and has a penchant for deflowering teenage girls. Bella Swan attends private school with Edward Cullen, a senior she’s been in love with since 9th grade. Too bad Edward is dating the most beautiful girl at St. Mary’s - and doesn’t even know Bella exists. When Jasper sets his sights on Bella, Edward can’t help but take notice. Will he protect her from his girlfriend’s impious older brother?
Ikss: Where were we?
Twanza: Arguing about Jasper & teenage girls...
Ikss: Son of a Preacher Man!
Twanza: Which brings up a good point...
Ikss: But my God he's sexy when he's skeevy!
Twanza: They're so fucking young. No to the skeevy. Why skeevy?
Chele: Ikr?
Twanza: He's like 21.
Ikss: Yep young.
Twanza: 21 = 17. No problemo. That’s the thing...
Ikss: It's kind of gross, though.
Twanza: So, let us ask. Why is Son of a Preacher Man Jaspy sexy? Gross?
Ikss: Yes.
Twanza: I beg to differ.
Ikss: That he always goes for virginal young girls.
Twanza: Are you just being incendiary?
Ikss: Kind of gross.
Twanza: He's practically a child himself. How old is he in this story?
Ikss: He's like the Matthew McConaughey character in Dazed & Confused. [He's] 21.
Twanza: Ah, obscure reference.
Ikss: And emotionally a child, yes
Twanza: Ren or Stimpy?
Ikss: But accurate. LOL. Hey, I’m totally throwing that into chapter 21, by the way.
Twanza: Emotionally a total fucking child. BTW, I hate Phil in this story. Sort of Renee, too.
Chele: Yeah.. I'm irritated by both of them
Twanza: Yay!
Ikss: I don't care enough about Phil to hate him or Renee.
Chele: Absentee parenting... Condescending reactions.
Twanza: I had a stepfather, I'm prickly. Here's the deal with Son of a Preacher Man for me. Love Jasper. Love Edward. Love Emmett. But why is Bella so determined?
Ikss: What do we feel about Bella?
Twanza: Because of the three years before?
Ikss: The million dollar question, really.
Twanza: I think she could've been convinced in that last chapter.
Chele: Determined? Determined about what?
Twanza: If I were Edward, I'd be worried. And he was. He says "Yep, great.” When she says Jasper kissed her.
Ikss: I don't think she could have been convinced at all.
Chele: I think she totally could have been convinced.
Twanza: Do tell. I'm with chele.
Chele: I think that the guilt was weighting on her pretty heavy...
Twanza: Not to gang up,
Ikss: LOL. Gang away.
Twanza: Nice.
Ikss: I just don't think she has it in her to hurt Edward that way. Even if she wanted it she wouldn’t do that to Edward.
Twanza: I agree... but isn't that the lesson of Edward & Rosalie?
Chele: Edward giving up his whole school and future to stay home and chill with her while she finishes her last year of high school?
Ikss: She's kind of canon in that way.
Twanza: That made me nervous... The giving up school. Hot Edward.
Chele: SO nervous
Twanza: Nervous about Bella. Jinx.
Ikss: Edward's kind of an idiot to do that, but did he do it to keep her away from J?
Chele: Couldn't help but try to put myself in his parent's position and I would FREAK out.
Twanza: Oh, you think?
Chele: And then probably have to let him make his own decisions. But you'd bet your ass he'd be paying rent.
Twanza: I didn't get the Jasper motivation on Edward's part. Idk, if you have a kid who's self-motivated... You might take a back seat.
Chele: Still making him pay rent.
Twanza: I love Edward's words, but don't trust Bella in this. It's prob going to end without me trusting her.
Ikss: It isn't really the lesson of E & Rosalie. Bella does love E first of all and also she's not staying with him because she's too much of a pussy to move on.
Twanza: 9th grade love, dude. 9th grade.
Chele: Who can trust her? She's so young.
Twanza: I trust Jasper. (laughs) Ok, I will focus.
Ikss: They are young.
Twanza: Emmett is king in this one, for sure.
Ikss: But this is Twilight. His school shit apparently lasts forever. I trust Jasper, oddly
Twanza: True. Eternal 11th grade. Jinx.
Ikss: He's honest
Twanza: He is.
Ikss: Edward doesn't trust her.
Twanza: [Jasper is] broken, damaged, wrong-headed, fucking Maria, but honest. That is brillz. Edward doesn't trust her. A revelation!
Ikss: Are you mocking me?
Twanza: NO. SERIOUSLY.
Ikss: LOL.
Twanza: Edward doesn't trust her.
Chele: Edward is right not to trust.
Twanza: That is seriously right
Chele: Not that she isn't trustworthy, but he knows what it's like to stay out of obligation
Twanza: She's determined, not trust worthy.
Ikss: On a very basic level. She went from being in love with Jasper to being in love with Edward in like a week. I wouldn’t trust her either.
Twanza: Not "untrustworthy" but doesn't seem to possess her own mind. See that? That's right.
Ikss: Well, but she loved Edward all along.
Twanza: It also feels real (for her). I actually really love this Bella.
Ikss: Wasn’t she settling for hot sexiness with jasper? Where do I sign up to settle for THAT?
Chele: Did she really love Edward all along?
Twanza: I think she lusted after Edward all along.
Chele: Can the high school crush really be equivalent to love?
Twanza: Which is why I thought Jaspy was a nice surprise. Unexpected. Funny.
Ikss: Think she loved Edward in that "distant, I can never have his perfectness" kind of way we love people in high school.
Chele: I think that she was surprised by Jasper... I mean, he reels you in because he is hot and untouchable. But here is a keen intelligence, and even an underlying compassion…
Ikss: But now that they are together, she loves him...but... more importantly, he loves her.
Twanza: WTF? This is my fav story, I'm like all "Ebert" on it.
Ikss: LOL.
Twanza: He totally loves her. You can feeeeeeeel that. I think, in fic, the boys win.
Chele: It's kind of like you to behave this way.
Twanza: Girls writing boys. An imponderable ponderable.
Chele: The girls are generally affected.
Twanza: Why is that do you s'pose?
Chele: It's naturally satisfying for girls to pretend that we know what guys are thinking.
Twanza: Really?
Ikss: The boys totally win in this fic, yes.
Chele: And the best stories are the ones that get it closest to right
Twanza: I don't find that natural in RL. I'm mystified.
Chele: And usually, it's when the guys are kind of assholes.
Twanza: OK, I'll cede that point to you.
Ikss: OG, Chele you are brilliant!
Twanza: Brilliant.
Chele: I mean really... even Edward is kind of an ass, but it's mainly because he doesn't see the breadth of his actions.
Twanza: How is Edward an ass?
Chele: He’s whiney about his scene with Rose. He kisses Bella on the dance floor, for Christ sake. He’s the GOOD guy.
Twanza: He's junior-sized ass. Kiss on the dance floor was epic.
Ikss: He was an ass in how he was with Rosalie. Other than that, sweet and good and kind of perfect.
Chele: It was so just exactly right [but] I dunno... He didn't notice that Bella existed for 3 years.
Twanza: Nice. He was unconscious.
Chele: You don't think that's a bit of an ass?
Twanza: Emmett says so.
Chele: Oh, no.
Twanza: I think he's a pint-sized ass.
Chele: No guy misses noticing a piece of ass for 3 years.
Ikss: So who has been responsible for the hotter lemons? E or J?
Twanza: What? Get out of town. J.
Ikss: J and his magnum-sized cock.
Twanza: Totally.
Chele: Jasper totally owns the hotness
Twanza: TOTALLY! Jasper is the beyond. Scary for her, methinks. Scary for him, methinks
Chele: Sweet camping sex was nice, but really...
Twanza: I liked the condom in the jeans in the front seat. But I have questions about that. This. The Edward part. Assume he's had sex with Rose, but no confirmation.
Chele: Of course... A relationship with Jasper is infinitely more rewarding. It's taming a fucking mustang as opposed to taking lessons.
Twanza: I think this should have been written... Nice!
Chele: Either way you get the pony, but damn....
Twanza: Taming a mustang WHILE taking lessons.
Ikss: LMAO, Chele.
Twanza: Jasper shutting down was too perfect, too.
Chele: I was about to say that of course Edward had sex with Rose, and then..... Fuck I realized that I really didn't know
Twanza: Right? He had to have, cuz who else? And, Bella says she loves him in the last chapter. But no reciprocal acknowledgment. Nervous. Though his actions speak loud
Ikss: But we KNOW B&E will end up together. Right?
Twanza: Cuz it says it [in] the "category." Hehehehehehe.
Ikss: Yes. Knew I read it somewhere. I think it would be totally cool if she let jasper back in.
Twanza: WIN
Ikss: I just ain't holding my breath.
Chele: Okay. Things we learned from Son of a Preacher Man? GO!
Deviant Jasper = Fuck hot Jasper
Peter = Love
Peter + Jasper = Even More Love
James = Not so Evil
Jasper in a Girl's Hat = Win
Boys who drive mustangs are naughty
Bella is undecided, whether or not the story ends in one chapter
Mexican bars are hot!
Maria can be swoony
Rosalie is the universal scapegoat
Emmett is the best big brother EVER
Orange juice out of the carton is swoony
"Amuse bouche" out of a nasty boy's mouth make us have to lie down
Ikss: "Amuse bouche”…the international language of sex.
Twanza: That's the kill me dead scene
Ikss: Amuse bouche. I can just see his mouth making those words...
Chele: T, yo sum up.
Ikss: That is a fic club rule.
Chele: If it's your first time at fic-club, you must find the moral of the story.
Twanza: Deviant smart slightly wounded Jasper is un-give-uppable. Edward is lovely. Bella is great, but untrustworthy. Moral of the story is don't trust your fucking 17-year old heart...[A]nd, let yourself be won by "bad boys"...
Chele: Truer words have never been spoken.
Twanza: Or else you'll wind up being Renee.
Ikss: Making out on top of a Pearl = Win.
Chele: I love it all. And I love Son of a Preacher Man.
Ikss: LOL
Twanza: I adore this story.
Chele: It's a drop everything and read.
Twanza: I have read it twice. Backwards. And the reviews.
Ikss: Me too.
Twanza: And, I'm sad it's [ending], but there's The First Breath. *sigh*
# # #
This is an amuse bouche. It is an hors d'oeuvres, served by the chef to excite the taste buds. An amuse bouche has all the elements of what I love about Son of a Preacher Man. It is a little bit confrontational and a little scary.
